Diets and the challenge of eating healthy as a spoonie

This post, like others that will follow it, is a continuation of my Gambling On Life series.

I've been attempting to diet for a year now, and I can safely say this:

It's fucking hard as fucking fuck to properly diet while also dealing with chronic illness that makes food prep an exceptional challenge.. Plus, let's add an inflationary economy to that mix.

Foxtrot Delta Tango, let's do this.

About a year ago, my primary doc suggested I go on a Mediterranean diet. I had no problems with this in theory: I love veggies, nuts, and fish (oh hell yes, love me some fish). Ditching red meat? Not an issue; I enjoy a good veggie burger, and tuna steak is an orgasmic delight more folks need to experience.

The hiccup was this key point: Avoid processed foods.

If you're new to this blog, here's where we're at: I've got severe chronic pain and nerve problems, and while we thought it was RA, the nerve problems, my limited visual and lab inflamation indicators, and the lack of response to most RA treatments means maybe it's not entirely that, if it is at all after talking with both my reumatologist and neurologist (yes, I have 2 fucking specialists because I am fucking special).

What this means is I have very limited ability to do common things. I used to be an accomplished shred guitarist and painter/traditional illustrator, but I can do neither (among many other things) because of these problems.

Standing in a kitchen doing meal prep? Yeah, that shit is not happening.

I do what I can, but.. It's expensive. After a lot of experimentation, I make the same sandwich for lunch every day: Cracked pepper turkey on either 12 grain or whole wheat with spinach (or 50/50 mix), roma tomatoes and a single slice of pepperjack cheese.

It's a good thing my neurodivergent-ass enjoys consistency, because most folk might get tired of the same thing over and over.

I also tend to throw in some nut-based crackers or something whole-grain and low-sodium to go with those sammiches. Desserts? I'll occasionally have a tiny serving of Halo Top light ice cream (thank the Great Green Arkleseizure for that tasty and relatively healthy ice cream).

For dinner? Well, it gets much harder.

I can't prepare properly-cooked meals anymore. It just is not happening. I am honestly lucky I'm able to even slice those tomatoes for my sandwiches, and sometimes I get really fucking pissed trying to separate out the slice of turkey.

So, I do one of two things:

I DoorDash something, or I eat processed frozen food (as lightly processed as possible). Saffron Road's Indian meals aren't bad, but we've got a pretty limited selection of options when you're as limited as I am..

..And it gets fucking expensive, too. Here's the thing: Processed foods are cheaper. I make good money, but I've also got medical bills. When you talk about eating "fresh", you're also talking about a lot of waste, especially when you're just preparing for yourself.

I buy roma tomatoes because they are smaller in size, so I finish one off after 2 or 3 sandwiches, which is less wasteful.. However, I still end up throwing away 50% of my greens, and have to do at least 2 orders of groceries a week just to ensure I keep fresh, non-expired bread and produce.

It all adds up, and when you toss in those days where I am feeling like the worst kind of shat-on garbage.. I cheat, because actually preparing something? Yeah, I'm lucky to be able to grip the tools necessary to consume the food, let alone prepare it.

I'll door dash something cheaper (a catfish sandwich from a local pub is a favorite, and is filling) because it's got a 30%-off happy hour special.

I usually avoid fast-food, but there have been more than one occasion where I've grabbed a couple tiny fast food burgers because of a BOGO special and I can't be arsed to care about more than wanting to get rid of hunger pangs piling on top of my excessive nerve and joint pain, diet be damned.

I'd rather order something from Clean Eatz, which does amazing food that works with my dietary needs, but.. fuck, that's expensive, so it's more a treat than a staple.

So, like the Kobayashi Maru (you enjoying these nerd references?), dieting is a no-win scenario for me..

..And exercise? Yeah, on my reumatologist visit intake form I always check "impossible to do" on the question for whether I can walk a couple miles. Just one mile is impossible.. And swimming? That seems to exacurbate my nerve pain, but I try to do it anyway sometimes.

Foxtrot Mike Lima, dieting sucks hard.