All the little things that change when treatment works

As I mentioned previously, things are going well in regards to my health for the most part.

Things aren't perfect, but they are better.. And as I was doing a number of things over the past week that I wasn't able to do previously before the Orencia started working for my RA, I figured I'd outline all those little things just so folks can see just how much life can change if you've got an illness that causes mobility issues.. And so folks who are struggling now and are going through the various treatments trying to find something that works can see what improvements you may be able to expect.

So, let's break it down.

1: I'm back to shaving with a regular razor again.

This may sound weird, but I found it exceptionally risky to try to shave my head with a regular razor. I kept cutting myself, which is not a good thing when you both can't always feel the pain from it AND are on immunosuppressants.

Of course, I was an unsteady shaver for 2 reasons - My CMT4F neuropathy, and my RA. Well, with the heat being fuck off I'm in hell lately, I haven't been able to sit and use my electric shaver comfortably for the time it takes to do it right.. Which meant grabbing the barbasol and a razor to get it done quickly without melting.

I realized after the first couple runs with the razor that.. Hey, I'm not fucking up. I'm doing smooth strokes without jerking or sliding the blade the wrong way, or accidentally pressing too hard or dropping it.

The CMT still affects it, but I have enough control now that good ole' muscle memory took over.

2: I'm putting less weight on the cane, and am even using it less in general.

Again, I still have CMT.. So I need the cane for stability reasons. However, I am less reliant on it now. I haven't had to touch the cane while at home for over a month now, which given the wild weather we've had? That's fucking amazing.

Hell, on a lark while walking on a concrete surface (my fellow arthritic folks know why that shit is emphasized) I took my cane in my hand and started fucking spinning the thing like I was in a goddamned musical.

I still run into shit, I still feel off-balance frequently, and I still can't dance (well, to say I could dance before was being charitable), but this is better.

3: I'm sleeping through the night!

I won't lie: Part of me liked going to bed at 10-11 PM and getting up at 3 AM. I was able to get up and get shit done before work (although that shit I'd get done was usually playing games because fuck you that's why).

I've been a light sleeper for years; I have sensitive hearing on top of my pain in general keeping me from getting a good, solid sleep. Now, thanks to the reduced pain that was caused by my RA and the Gabapentin dulling the nerve pain from CMT (although I really expect to need to bump it up further - still having some issues on that front), I am fucking sleeping hard at night.

4. Barometric pressure shifts no longer make me want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Even when I was in highschool I'd have problems with barometric pressure changes making me fucking miserable as fucking fuck. The pressure pain I'd feel in my knees - and later almost everywhere - made me wonder if I wasn't in hell and hallucinating what I thoguht was the real world at times.

I remember one particular April I was sitting in the computer class and I felt like my knees were about to explode with fiery napalm and consume me in the cleansing fire; It was at the end of the class and I ended up just clutching my knees and putting my head on the desk, willing the pain to stop. I think the teacher gave me some ibuprofen after I explained what was happening and told her this was nothing new (plus, I didn't want to walk all the way to the other building to go the nurse at that time). It calmed down a bit - enough for me to go to my final class and finish the day - but that shit sucked.

Now? Yeah, it still sucks, but literal decades of intractable pain left me with a much higher tolerance for it, which means I'm back down to something I can manage.

So.. Everything's good now, right?

Not really, but again - things are better. As far as what's wrong? Well, I now apparently have osteoarthritis in my shoulder (and I suspect in my right trigger finger, too, but that'll have to wait for the next doc appt to get another X-ray). My neuropathy? Yeah, that'll never get better (or until they finally come up with a treatment for CMT), and realistically can only get worse. My left calf has been having issues for months, so I still can't do long walks on the beach or anything like that.

Oh, and Trump is still a fucking piece of shit who can't stop fucking up everything, but I don't think the Orencia can fix that.

This post, like others that will follow it, is a continuation of my Gambling On Life series.